Attack of the Killer Peeps 8: Reminiscing
by Karen11
Summary: Part of a RR involving those Easter candies. A link to the rest of the stories in the RR is provided.


Title: Reminiscing with the Peeps: Peeps VIII Author: Karen E-mail: kittenrescue@hotmail.com Rating: R Disclaimer: The Peeps were originally foisted onto the realm of fanfiction by the Fic Goddess Terri. The X-Men belong to Marvel and Stan Lee, who'd probably have a stroke if they saw what we did to their creations on a regular basis. Category: Humor Feedback: Bring it on. Summary: The continuing saga of the Peeps. The entire Peeps Saga can be read at the Dolphin Haven: http://www.dreamwater.org/ddfh/fanfiction/RR.html#peeps  
  
Author's notes: I've been nagged about writing a Peeps story for so long, that I finally caved, although I think Autumn and Terri may be sorry now. I may just have successfully killed the franchise with this little offering. For those of you curious enough to pay attention, I've incorporated 22 stories into this fic, some more obvious than others. I hope that I've managed to include at least one story from each of the authors that have posted recently. If I missed anyone, I apologize (or maybe you're glad you escaped - haha) And now on to the mayhem....  
  
~ Reminiscing With The Peeps ~  
  
Grammy's POV  
  
One Easter Sunday in the distant future, at the Peep's Retirement Village, the world's oldest living peep, simply known as 'Grammy' had a small group of young peeps gathered around her twig rocker.  
  
"Tell us another story, Grammy," One young green peep begged.  
  
"Yes, Grammy, do tell," A young purple peep added.  
  
As a chorus of high-pitched voices pleading for a story echoed throughout the recreation room, Grammy shifted in her rocker and then picked a splinter out of her ancient gooey butt. Adjusting her spectacles and letting out a nasty wheeze as she cleared her throat, Grammy began her tale as a hushed silence fell over the room.  
  
"Once upon a time, we peeps were revered amongst the icons of the candy world. Every child and even some adults welcomed us into their lives with open hands and wet wipes. Our fame quickly spread and soon it was not only Easter when we reigned supreme, but Halloween as well. Not only were we available in the traditional bunny and chick shapes, but now also as ghosts and cats, too. Although the candy corn had a hard time dealing with the fact they were no longer number one. Why even the jelly beans were jealous. We were quite content with our place in the universal food chain, causing sugar overload and potential cavities in unsuspecting humans. Until one day, some of us were captured by an evil manipulator known as ... the Plot Bunny!"  
  
The peeps let out a combined shriek at the mere mention of the legendary fiend that had once been the source of so many scary tales told around the faux campfire (peeps can't go near real flames or they'd melt - duh) It had been many years since anyone had dared to even whisper the name, multiplying the plot bunny legend ten-fold.  
  
"What did the Evil Plot Bunny do, Grammy?" One brave little yellow peep inquired.  
  
"He mutated us and made us wreak havoc on a realm known as 'fanfiction'," Grammy replied, holding a gummy hand to her saggy chest.  
  
"What's fanfiction?" A small white peep asked curiously.  
  
"Fanfiction is a world created by humans known as writers. They create stories and share them with their friends. The fanfiction realm that was targeted by the Evil Plot Bunny was inhabited by a group of people known as the X-Men. Some powerful men in a land called Hollywood made a movie about these X-Men. However, some fans of this movie didn't care for the way the X- Men had been portrayed, especially two of the characters known as Wolverine and Rogue, sometimes called Logan and Marie. So they banded together, created mailing lists and decided to create their own universe in which these characters lived, loved and played.  
  
The trouble began when one of the writers was dumb enough to unleash a plot bunny onto the list in an attempt to spark even more creativity. However, that first plot bunny turned out to be infected with rabies and wreaked no end of trouble on the lists. Growing stronger with each storyline, the plot bunny decided to create 'soldiers' to aid in his attempts to control the fandom. Debating over several choices including various bite-sized candies, animal crackers, and those plastic toys that come in kid's fast food meals, the plot bunny had to decide which one was the most irresistible, easiest to breed and hardest to get rid of. Then one day while wandering down the Easter candy aisle at Wal-Mart, his eyes fell upon the rows and rows of boxes of multi-colored peeps. There was a dozen in one box alone! The plot bunny's eyes grew wide, as he rubbed his furry paws together in glee. The peeps met all of his evil requirements, and thus an unwilling accomplice was born.  
  
However, like so many things, if you don't learn to control them, pretty soon you'll have a mutiny on your hands. That's pretty much what happened when the legendary Grand Master Peep, my first husband, seized control of the mayhem.  
  
Like an accomplished general of the world's finest army, my Peepter unleashed peeps on the lists with the skilled precision of an Olympic marksman. No writer was safe, no matter how many different fake id's they posted under. The newbies were the easiest to seek out, target and corrupt. Like Patton over his troops, he divided the ranks by color, assigning each division a special area of expertise like angst, humor, romance, foof, AU and the most popular division, smut. Everyone wanted to join that particular branch of the peeps army, as that battalion seemed to be the one that was actually embraced by the writers."  
  
"My momma told me that we're descended from a long line of smut peeps," One pretty little pink peep announced.  
  
"Ooooh." Went a collected gasp from her little friends.  
  
"What's a smut peep?" A small blue peep asked curiously.  
  
"Smut peeps are the ones responsible for bringing the most happiness to the X-Men," Grammy informed them.  
  
"How did they bring happiness?" The small blue peep asked.  
  
Suddenly Grammy's gray cheeks flushed crimson. "They made the characters do things-like kissing."  
  
"I heard smut means they had sex!" One older peep announced.  
  
The room erupted in a fit of giggles. One of the younger peeps had a puzzled look on her face, until her friend leaned over and whispered in her ear, briefly explaining what sex was.  
  
"That's very rude," she proclaimed, as the laughter continued.  
  
"Give us examples of how the peeps influenced their lives," Another peep pleaded.  
  
Grammy shifted again, her hand making a small suction noise as she peeled it off the arm of the rocker.  
  
"Pay attention my little darlings, as I take you back in time.......  
  
Charles Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, many years ago:  
  
The clean up crew was finally finished removing the last of the marshmallow fiends known as peeps and the mansion was once again habitable. Students and staff returned to the overpowering smell of nail polish remover, the only substance known to successfully dissolve the sticky goo. Logan's enhanced sense of smell wouldn't allow him anywhere near the mansion, so he was currently ensconced at the cabin by the lake on the far side of the property.  
  
Marie's room faced the direction of the lake and with a powerful telescope borrowed from St. John, she was able to watch Logan. The fact that Logan walked around the cabin in considerably less than he did in the mansion gave Marie plenty of good material for her journal.  
  
Unbeknownst to Marie, Logan knew about the scope set up in Marie's room and put on a good 'show' for her. He'd also borrowed St. John's other telescope and had it trained on Marie's room and so he got to watch as she stripped off, doing a little bump and grind in the process.  
  
Everything seemed relatively peaceful. Even the Brotherhood hadn't attacked anything in several weeks. Life was almost dull - almost. Apparently, the Merry Maids Cleaning Company had not been allowed in the lower levels of the mansion and this would later turn out to be a big mistake. The kids assigned to clean up down there had been in such a hurry to watch "Angel" that they had done a sloppy, haphazard job. Bits of marshmallow goo still remained stuck in various cracks and crevices, and it was just enough to begin growing and mutating. The residents of the mansion slept peacefully in their beds, blissfully unaware of what was brewing beneath them.  
  
One morning when Hank and Jean entered the medlab with coffee mugs in hand they were greeted by a horrifying, yet familiar sight. Like a scene out of the "Star Trek episode", "The Trouble With Tribbles" - there were little marshmallow peeps everywhere. No surface was free of the sugary devils. Jean let out a scream, dropped her coffee mug and made a dash for the elevator. Hank was right behind her, but due to his large size was not as quick and agile as his colleague. Two white peeps threw themselves onto Hank's back and he suddenly found himself holding a small blue version of himself.  
  
"Oh my stars and garters. Who are you, little one?" he asked the small furry child.  
  
"Me name Jules. Where Mawee?" he replied, obviously as confused as Hank.  
  
Hank was so distracted that he didn't see several of the peeps enter the elevator.  
  
Hank took the small bundle up to Marie's room, but she didn't have a clue where the child had come from, either. Just then Logan's dog, Scooter came bounding into the room and pounced on the small child, knocking him down and licking him. Jules just giggled and hugged the dog. Just then the dog sniffed the air and ran over to the door, growled and then brought something back to Marie. Thinking it was a toy the dog wanted Marie to throw, she opened her palm ready to receive it, but let out a small yelp as the green peep dropped into her hand.  
  
Suddenly Marie found herself sitting in a car with Scott, making out passionately and discussing running away together. A dark purple peep dangling from the rear view mirror smiled sinfully.  
  
"How will we survive without the Professor to support us?" Marie asked.  
  
"Don't worry about that," Scott informed her, "The publisher has given me an advance on the book I'm writing, "How To Be A Hero."  
  
"But I can't leave today, I promised Bobby I'd volunteer with him at the hospital," Marie reasoned.  
  
There was one other thing, too, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it for the moment. Something about Logan?  
  
Logan meanwhile, opened the door of the cabin expecting to find Marie on the other side, especially after the little 'show' he'd put on this morning after getting out of the shower. Instead, he found a tall blonde with striking blue eyes and a slender frame with a purple peep sitting on her shoulder.  
  
"Hi, I'm Tanya. I've come to deliver your breakfast," she announced, holding out one measly blueberry muffin.  
  
"That won't last long," Logan said, eyeing the muffin.  
  
Tanya walked into the cabin, pushed Logan down onto the couch, straddled him and tossed the muffin over her shoulder.  
  
"Guess we'll just have to find something else to do then," she told him, as she leaned down and devoured his mouth. Logan could swear he heard the peep chanting "Angst, angst."  
  
In the middle of a rather heated smooch with Scott, Marie suddenly felt the overwhelming presence of Logan in her head, like they were somehow linked psychically. She 'watched' as a young blonde ran her hands all over Logan's magnificent bare chest and she somehow knew it wasn't right.  
  
"That bitch!" Marie shouted out loud, as she broke away from a stunned Scott.  
  
Jumping out of the car she stepped on a yellow peep that let out a terrifying scream. Marie attempted to wipe the sticky substance off the bottom of her shoe. Looking down to check if she'd succeeded, she found herself on the platform of the Salem Center train station. For some strange reason she had the sudden urge to go to Canada and boarded the train. A few minutes later Logan joined her, just as the train pulled out of the station heading for Winnipeg, Manitoba.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Marie asked, failing to notice the small peep stuck to the back of Logan's leather jacket.  
  
"I'm heading up to Alberta, Canada to find out why I was dishonorably discharged from the army," Logan replied.  
  
"The file you found didn't give a reason?"  
  
"It said something about insubordination. Can you believe that?" Logan asked.  
  
"I think Scott would agree with that reason," Marie replied with a giggle.  
  
"Besides, I had a feeling you'd be here and you shouldn't travel alone. You need me to protect you. After all, that's my job," Logan informed her.  
  
Marie just smiled at that. Ever since Logan had patched her up after her run in with Sabretooth on her very first mission, he'd been more overprotective than usual.  
  
"Let's upgrade to a sleeper car," Logan suggested, changing the subject.  
  
"Okay," Marie agreed, as Logan stood and went in search of the conductor.  
  
A few minutes later, Logan returned and taking Marie by the hand steered her back to the section containing the sleeping cars. The white peep following them chuckled quietly to himself. This was gonna be a fun trip.  
  
"Well, this sure beats the time you came to pick me up in Mississippi and we bounced all over the country trying to avoid those government agents," Marie reminisced.  
  
"Or the time we were traveling in my camper and we had that accident and poor Baby was blown to bits," Logan recalled sadly, remembering his faithful camper that had carried him across Canada, her only requirements being premium gasoline and the occasional quart or two of oil. She'd been a good little camper, a mode of transportation even Scooter's hyper-charged bike couldn't replace.  
  
In the sleeper car, Logan and Marie went at it like two minks in heat, as the white peep stood guard outside, snickering gleefully. Marie finally drifted off to sleep after her sixth orgasm in a row, as a vision of a blue peep danced in front of her eyes. Marie knew that even if someone wiped her memory again and gave her twenty million dollars, she would never forget this night.  
  
That night Marie had a very scary peep induced dream - she and her friends had gone out clubbing and something terrible had happened to her best pal Jubilee. From that one incident, all sorts of horrible events began to unfold after that. The worst was walking into her own bedroom and finding Logan enjoying a blowjob from Jean. Waking up with a scream, Logan gathered her in his arms to reassure her that everything was okay, that it was her and only her he wanted to make love to every night and every morning. The angst peep slipped out of the sleeper car unnoticed, as a smut peep distracted the couple.  
  
Meanwhile, back at the mansion, the peeps were creating all sorts of havoc with the mansion's residents, who were currently involved in a drinking game trying to be the last person to slide to the floor. Ororo was so drunk she climbed onto Bobby's lap and proceeded to have her way with him. One of the new students, Jenn was upset because she'd thought Bobby liked her. Seeing how distraught the young kinesthestic mutant was, St. John pulled her down onto the bearskin rug in front of the fireplace and showed her just how desirable she really was. Thanks to a small purple peep, the two couples didn't even care they were copulating right in front of the others. Kitty turned her attentions to Scott, who didn't complain, because soon he was moaning rather loudly himself. Not to be left out, Jubilee dragged Remy over to the pool table and soon they were using it in a way that had not been intended by the manufacturer.  
  
When Jean entered the rec room moments later, she was supremely pissed off at Scott for having sex with Kitty on the couch. She'd already forgiven him once for having sex with Kitty that time they were kidnapped by Magneto, but there was no excuse now. Deciding to get even, she stomped over to the mansion's newest resident, a young stud by the name of Tom and ripped his clothes off. Soon the two redheads were too busy to notice the peeps doing 'high-fives' in the corner.  
  
The Professor found himself trapped in his office because several blue peeps had wedged themselves into the gears of his wheelchair. He tried to reach the sex-crazed crew in the rec room psychically, but the peep induced orgy effectively drowned out his efforts.  
  
When Marie awoke (at least she thought she was awake) she found herself not in the sleeper car of the train, but in a very primitive looking room, like something out of her history book on ancient Rome. Lying beside her was a still sleeping Logan. Just then the curtain at the entrance of the room parted and Jubilee appeared calling her Lady Marie and telling her to hurry before Flavius caught her there. Flavius? Pulling on the garment that was apparently hers, she slipped into the sleeveless tunic made of flowing white silk that reached only about halfway down her thighs. She cinched her waist with the golden sash and pulled on leather boots, dyed gold that reached up to her knees. Who the hell was she supposed to be in this timeline anyway? That question was answered when a sleepy Logan called out to her.  
  
"Goddess?"  
  
Walking back over to where Logan was lying, she sat back down as he gathered her into his arms and pressed a searing kiss to her willing mouth.  
  
"I will see you tonight at the gates of the Coliseum. Until then my Goddess." And Logan kissed her passionately again.  
  
Marie stood up and immediately stepped on a green peep. Damn those things were everywhere she thought, as she raised the golden boot to try and scrape it off.  
  
Suddenly her white tunic had been replaced with skin-tight leather pants and a little black t-shirt and instead of being in ancient Rome she found herself in a metal cage in a seedy bar. Logan was just outside the cage, holding up a shot glass in a salute. A yellow peep was sticking out of the pocket of his flannel shirt. The music started and Marie found herself swaying to the song "Poison" as she slowly began peeling off her clothes - watching Logan intently the whole time. After Marie was announced the winner of the thousand dollars and the title of Queen of the Cage, she and Logan went to a motel room to celebrate - several times.  
  
Marie awoke to find herself back in her own room at the mansion and unfortunately, alone. Being extremely horny, Marie went in search of the peeps, the smut peeps in particular. Damn, where were those things when you really needed them?  
  
Marie let out a loud scream and broke down in tears as she spotted Scott with a gigantic bottle of nail polish remover strapped to his back like something out of the movie Ghostbusters. The contraption featured a long tube with a spray nozzle attached to it and was still dripping the liquid fatal to peeps.  
  
"Don't worry, Marie. This time I think we got 'em all," he announced cheerfully.  
  
"That's what I'm afraid of," Marie wailed.  
  
The End.....or is it ? 


End file.
